White Magus, Black Devout
by YamiTenshi
Summary: Naruto hated his job as a black mage. So his instructor decided to perhaps give him some motivation in the form of his friend's sexy new apprentice, but wait--Wasn't it supposed to be a boy? NaruGaa


White Magus, Black Devout

I got really bored while I was playing Final Fantasy III on my DS last summer. So I wrote part of this story and completely forgot about it. It's actually taken from another story I had planned that would be long and epic or whatever. That one was about Naruto getting trapped in a library at midnight and getting cursed so that the only way he could leave was by collecting a hundred memories from characters in stories, but he had to go into the story and chase the person down before he could do that. Gaara was in it too and he was not only cursed to be stuck in the library, but to be forced to wear girls' clothes, even if he was inside a story. I don't know why I didn't write it. It never really took off.

So you can read this instead.

0o0

Flames danced in the palm of Uzumaki Naruto's left hand and he gazed at them in boredom as he slumped over the foot of his bed. He kicked his feet on the light grey sheets rhythmically until his was bored with that as well and twisted them around his calves. His hand clamped down on the flame and it was extinguished. A lethargic sigh escaped his lips and he stretched his limbs out. He was incredibly bored.

Why had he chosen to follow the profession of the Magus? Sure, it wasn't really so much of a choice as it had been an escape, but he was regretting making that choice. Kiba had gone off and joined the knights. Shikamaru was a scholar. Sakura followed the ways of a geomancer. Hell, Ino became a bard. A bard, for god's sake! No one liked bards, but she went and did it anyway! Right now, even Lee's extreme martial arts training seemed far more interesting than black magic.

Starting fires and summoning tornadoes wasn't what it was all cracked up to be. He had to study a lot. Which mean he had to read a lot. Naruto hated reading. Especially since he hadn't been able to do it when he was brought here to be the apprentice of the Magus. Countless drills ran through his mind and all the punishments he had sustained to make his learning hasten. If you had to strip one item of clothing every time you misspelled a word, then you'd probably be literate as soon as possible, but he still worried about his perverted teacher making him do that again if he fucked up during a spell.

After a while, doing the same thunder spell for the thirtieth time lost its luster. If he was going to be stuck doing magic, he wanted to stir things up a little. Summoning was… Bleh, those nasty monsters weren't the way for him to go. White magic, however, was the polar opposite of what he already knew. It had to be interesting for a little while.

When he mentioned training to be a Devout instead, the Magus laughed. For those who knew him, this was a rare occasion. Then he realized that Naruto was being serious and stopped. Naruto was then scolded about the fact that if he started dabbling in white magic, he'd have to become—and he could hear the shudder in the voice of the Magus as he spoke—a Sage who could use both types, but only up to the sixth circle. Secretly, the Magus kind of preferred the uniform of the red mages who were Sages in training than the ones he'd had to wear when he was a black mage, but he didn't tell his student that. It'd be like adding gasoline to a fire.

There was a knock at Naruto's bedroom door and he trudged to answer it.

"Hey usaratonkachi. I invited the Devout over for tea. He's bringing his apprentice with him so you can see the kind of torture he puts his students through."

"Do I have to wear the formal uniform?"

Naruto hated that ugly thing. That shapeless dark robe and the gaudy oversized sapphire ribbon and the worst was that pale yellow excuse for a sombrero he had to wear. It clashed with his hair. He wanted to burn it until there weren't even ashes left.

"No."

Silver and gold to the ignorant masses, he didn't have to wear it! As to not warrant any changes of heart, he subtly changed the topic.

"The Devout's apprentice is a boy, right? Is he hot?" Naruto asked, feeling a thrill in his heart.

Yep, very subtle.

"You're so gay, dobe." The Magus sighed, shaking his head at the teen.

"Says the guy who watches me change clothes."

"For the last time, I came in to tell you something!"

"And you completely forgot what it was as soon as you saw some skin. Not to mention all the other crap you've put me through all these years. You're such a pervert."

"For your information, I am not a pervert and the Devout's apprentice doesn't look half bad. If you have a type, he's probably it."

"Cool. Now get out." Naruto pushed his teacher out of his doorframe and back into the hallway where he belonged.

"But I was going to warn you that the Devout makes his students—"

"Go away or I'll file a sexual harassment lawsuit against you!" Naruto slammed the door shut, leaving Sasuke out in the cold.

That boy was such a brat. He'd be dammed if he gave him any more advice. There was no need to bite his head off like that. Whilst Naruto dickered around with taking a shower and the like, Sasuke went down to the kitchen and put on some tea. Being a Magus was peaceful… In a peculiar, destructive sort of way. The Devout was peaceful in a boring sort of way, which was part of the reason he hoped Naruto saw the light and stuck with black magic. A major piece of that was his own selfishness from a desire to be around the sexy younger man and from another to have a semi-constant stream of delicious sweets to be baked for him at his leisure. The boy may moan and groan when the Magus asked him to do anything else, but his eyes lit up when the Magus wanted him in the kitchen. Naruto scolded him about begging for his desserts so often, but Sasuke figured if he was going to get fat off of anything, it would be those delectable treats. Even his eyes got a feast, because it meant he could watch Naruto scurry around in an apron while he sifted flour and checked temperatures. He fantasized of ravishing his blonde apprentice in that empty kitchen, bending him over the counter and molesting him until Naruto called out his name in the throes of pleasure. But that's a story for another time.

The doorbell rang, eliciting a string of curses from Naruto. He wasn't ready yet! He hopped into a pair of pants, frantically dried his hair the best he could, and tugged on a shirt that he loosely buttoned before flying downstairs to see what this 'sexy white mage' looked like. Then he realized running around like an idiot wasn't going to impress him, so he calmly recomposed himself and walked slowly to ensure he had his own dignified entrance. The Devout and his apprentice were already waiting beside the Magus and Naruto spontaneously had a moment where he wasn't quite sure what was going on. The apprentice _was_ sexy as hell, with long glossy bangs of ruby red hair that parted over his left eye to reveal a tattoo of the kanji 'ai' and moon pale skin that gave off a faint glow of elegance, while the teal eyes that were present in his black-ringed eye sockets burned with a desire. He was very beautiful. But there was one tiny problem.

"I thought you said the Devout had a boy apprentice."

"He does." Sasuke smirked as the white mage blushed in shame and indignation. "You know what the Devout's uniform is, right?"

"It's like a pink dress or something." Naruto shrugged, failing to see the point.

"Most Devout are women. So when you get male Devout like Neji, it's really rare. In order to prepare a new male Devout, usually the Devout who's training the white mage will have their apprentice…" He gestured at the mortified redhead. "Dress in drag."

Naruto stared at the boy again. He wore a white mini-dress with flowing sleeves that ruffled at the edges and tan thigh-high boots, leaving about three inches of skin between the two to let Naruto's imagination to wonder about what kind of underwear the white mage had on. He finished his descent down the spiral staircase and politely bowed before him, trying to peek up the pleated hem of his dress to get a look. Sasuke kicked him in the side, knocking him to the unforgiving marble floor. The blonde got up sputtering curses of righteous anger.

Sasuke handily disarmed him with two sentences. "You were trying to see if he was wearing panties. For shame, apprentice."

"I-I was not!"

"Come on, Neji." Sasuke said, holding his arm out for the goth-lolita wearing Devout. "Tell me what's been going on with you and no, I don't want to hear any stories about the people you've saved. If you do, I will tell you about all the towns I've blown up since last time. We'll let the kids be alone."

"I'm not a kid, 'ttebayo!" Naruto snapped at their retreating backs.

Gaara tugged at the hem of his dress, unnerved by the Magus' assessment of the blonde boy trying to look at his underwear. He did have to admit (even extremely grudgingly) that the other apprentice was handsome, but he wasn't going to let it cloud his judgment. The boy had untamed golden hair that was still a bit damp from his recent shower and his dress shirt was unbuttoned enough to expose a small expanse of bare chest that was definitely _not_ driving him wild on the inside.

"By the way, my name is Naruto and I wasn't trying to look at whatever's under that dress." Inwardly he smirked as he caught the redhead staring at his chest. "I can take it off for you. Pictures last longer."

"Shut up, you asshole." The redhead muttered as the blonde teased him by undoing another button.

"Ooh, I'm scared of the boy in a dress!" Tch, he wasn't going to let this sexy little beast intimidate him.

"You should be. And my name is Sabaku no Gaara."

"A pretty name for a pretty boy." Naruto taunted, speaking nothing but the truth.

_**~Aero!~ **_Gaara cast the low level wind spell directly at the blonde to show that he was serious. It soared past Naruto's ear and smashed Sasuke's favorite Fabergé egg to smithereens. The royal blue egg (known as Constance of The Falkenburg Collection to avid collectors such as Sasuke) shattered as the gale sliced through it, the dainty crown falling from its perch atop the egg and landing with a sharp ping.

_**~Sleep!~**_ Naruto smiled as the redhead slumped to the floor. He picked him up and was about to check what was under that damn dress when the Magus got in the way again.

"Just because I said you two could be alone doesn't mean you can be casting spells in my house and _you_ especially can't be trying to put the sensual back in nonconsensual." He rested his hand on Gaara's forehead and cast the counterspell.

"I wasn't going to do anything to him! He started attacking me for no reason!"

"Put me down before I rip off your face." Gaara commanded very, well… Commandingly.

Naruto dropped him like a hot potato and though the skirt flew up and his fellow apprentice's legs parted, he didn't get to see what was between them. "If that's what you want."

"Go settle this outside. I will not have you destroying my home." The Magus growled, pointing at the exit as he cried internally about his precious egg being destroyed.

It had cost him a lot of mana. The people with the nice shit in their houses always put up a fight and then he had to cast a spell that turned them inside out. Not only was it messy, but the sudden loss of mana had jacked him up so much that if it weren't for Naruto being there, he wouldn't have gotten away with only minor injuries. And the very person who'd helped him procure that egg was the reason it was destroyed. How upsetting, he thought, fingering the shattered pieces.

"Get out now!"

The two mages stayed a good distance apart from each other, spells crackling in their fingertips as they walked out the front door.

I0I0I0I0I

Sasuke had a really nice garden in his backyard. He worked hard on it every day. It was proof that a Magus could use his hands for more than destroying. Sasuke loved his garden dearly. So when he found it ravaged by the spells that the two boys had cast, he was pissed beyond belief. First his egg and now this? And they were _still _fighting, further massacring his poor tomato plants. Red plant guts stained the ground and shredded leaves danced on the winds that the white mage threw, pulp and seeds painting an abstract picture against the soil. He was about to call on some inner ghetto aspect of himself and, as they would say, 'pop a cap in someone's ass, Magus style'. If he didn't care about getting into trouble, he'd murder both of them then and there. Though he yelled at them to stop, they kept on with their infantile battle.

_**~Aeroga!~**_ Gaara cast, sending a powerful gale of wind that rippled the earth directly towards Naruto, uprooting his poor plants from their deepest lodgings.

_**~Thundaga!~**_ Lightning snaked out of Naruto's fingertips to counter, sparking and searing as Naruto flinched from the pain the spell gave him.

_**~Breakga!~**_ Sasuke shouted, instantly petrifying them both. He walked back and forth between the two statues. "What the hell are you doing? I said 'settle it outside', not 'destroy my garden'! I wanted you to talk it out, not try to kill each other!"

"I'm afraid diplomacy isn't Gaara's strong suit. He was given to me because he kept going around killing people who got on his nerves." The Devout sighed, ruffling his petticoat. He had joined his fellow magic-user to help stop the battle if things got too out of hand. "I probably should've mentioned that before bringing him over."

'_Killing people? What the fuck?'_ Naruto thought as he began reciting the counterspell in his mind.

"That would've been helpful to know. Naruto is a pretty annoying kid."

"Who are you calling a kid, 'ttebayo?"

"Hey, you beat your old time. Congratulations!" Petrifying Naruto was a hobby of Sasuke's, but unfortunately the blonde kept getting better at the counterspell and spent less and less time as a statue.

"What do you mean he was going around killing people?" Naruto demanded, wondering exactly how many the attractive redhead had murdered.

"He had a demon sealed into him when he was in the womb and so he's not a very happy camper. Very easily agitated and prone to violence. People don't like getting their heads chopped off with a sword, so the royal guard captured him and turned him over to me so I could teach him the way of the Devout. I think they forgot that we're not just about healing." Neji explained, tightening the laces on his bodice.

"He was chopping people's heads off with a sword?" Naruto asked in horrified shock.

"Yes, I was. And I'd like to have it back." Gaara growled as he ripped pieces of stone off his skin.

"I don't think so, mister. You haven't earned it back." Neji wagged a finger at the redhead.

"I'll kill you!" Gaara roared, hand twitching where his sword had been rested so many times. He really wanted Godslayer back.

"That's not a great idea. I tried that once. He killed me, then resurrected me, then killed me one more time to make sure I knew not to fuck with him, and then resurrected me again. Thanks for that, by the way." Sasuke patted Neji on the back appreciatively.

"No way! _That_ guy killed you?" Naruto pointed at the Devout, who blushed in his frilly glory, toying with the lace cuffs of his dress.

"I sure did, but I felt bad about it because I like Sasuke and I wouldn't want him to be dead."

"How… How'd you kill him?"

"I blew him up from the inside out, of course. That's usually the most thorough way to kill someone." Neji said with a smile.

Naruto gaped at his instructor and Gaara was having some second thoughts about attacking his cross-dressing mentor. The fact that he said 'of course' made even him shiver.

"If you'd like to experience it, I'd be happy to show you." Neji began chanting the spell.

"No, no, no!" Naruto frantically waved his hands at the Devout, who looked disappointed that he wouldn't get to make anyone go 'splodey' today.

"But you two do need to be punished. You destroyed my tomato garden and that is an unforgivable sin. What is going to happen is that I am going to put you two in a very small alternative dimension box and you will stay in there until you learn to be civil with one another. You won't be able to use magic inside it, so whatever notions of murdering each other you have need to be thrown away now unless you can do it with your bare hands. Gaara, I know you're getting ideas about how you want to completely annihilate him, but if you murder him, then I will do the same to you. If you somehow manage to beat me, then Neji will kill you and you'll have no pride if we resurrect you because you got killed by a man in a dress. It will haunt you for the rest of your life."

"That sounds like a good plan. We can have our tea while they sort out their differences." Neji said, getting onboard with the idea. "Did you get those cookies shaped like ribbons?"

"Had them baked fresh just for you." Sasuke said with a grin, not giving Naruto the credit he was due.

"Oh, you cad!" The long-haired brunette blushed deeper, playfully flipping his hair around his small shoulders.

"Ugh, please put us in the box. I don't want to see you flirt…" Naruto groaned, feeling like he was about to vomit at the saccharine scene.

"Are you jealous? Don't worry, Naruto. You'll always be first in my heart." Sasuke gave a perverted smirk at his student.

"Put us in the fucking box, you pervert!"

"If that's what you want." He whistled, calling his falcon familiar. Having a mental link with his master, he knew exactly what to get and flew out with it in his talons. Holding the cube in one claw, he perched on Naruto's shoulder and started pecking at him aggressively with his sharp beak.

"Get off me, you little fucker!" Naruto swatted at the bird, which switched perches to Sasuke instead, dropping the cube in his palm.

Sasuke opened the top of it and dropped it on the ground. It expanded until it was tall enough for the two boys to stand in, which they did, glaring at each other. The box snapped shut and shrunk back down a size where it could easily fit in Sasuke's palm.

"You think we should've mentioned we can see everything they do while they're in there?" Neji pondered, tugging up his stocking.

"Then it wouldn't be punishment."

"Are you honestly suggesting that our students should get involved in inappropriate behavior so we can embarrass them?"

"Come, Neji. Our tea awaits."

I0I0I0I0I

Inside the box, the tone of the situation was significantly less courteous. The white and black mage sat on opposite sides of the box, glaring at each other with utter loathing.

"I take back ever thinking you were cute." Naruto grumbled, wondering how long this punishment would last.

"I am _not_ cute."

"I know, that's why I'm taking it back. You may look the part, but you've got the temper of a dragon." Naruto groused, having met a dragon or two in his time.

There was a scratchy noise as words wrote themselves on the wall magically in the same shade of gold of Naruto's hair.

'_Gods, he's fine… Even if he is a homicidal maniac asshole ice cube.'_

"What the fuck?" Naruto swore as he saw it.

'_Why are my thoughts showing up on the wall?'_

"…Sasuke must've done more to this place than he let on. Just empty your mind and it won't write anything you don't want me to know."

'**This is bullshit. Why do I have to be here with this stupid blonde?'**

"What happened to clearing your mind?" Naruto asked, pointing at the scarlet words.

Gaara smirked. "Whoever said that was something I didn't want you to know?"

'**Stupid blonde boy… With his stupid self… Thinks he's so cute.'**

"Do you think I'm cute?" Naruto queried, reading over the crimson letters.

'_Even if he's a dragon, he's cute. Wouldn't mind finding him in a dark alley.'_

"No. You're a reprehensible excuse of a human being."

'_Damn. Hostile much? I mean, we both have a demon, but he's just a bad attitude incarnate.'_

"…What's that?" Gaara pointed at the d word.

'**Demon? Surely you must be joking me.'**

"It's like it says. I have a demon. Mine is a fox."

'_I wonder where his seal is…'_

'**None of your business.'**

'_So we're going to play the thought game, huh? I'm not interested. I want to talk like a normal person.'_

"What type of demon do you have?" Naruto asked, curiosity getting the best of him. Despite the dragon temper, he thought he kind of liked Gaara, especially since he knew they were both jinchuurki.

"It's none of your business."

"Either you start talking or you get blown up by a man in a dress. It's your choice."

'_Speaking of dresses… No, gotta clear my mind…'_

"Okay, if you insist upon knowing, I contain a tanuki. Are you satisfied?"

"We're getting somewhere. Anything you'd like to ask me?"

"Absolutely not."

The temperature in the cube dropped dramatically to something below freezing. Naruto could see his breath as he felt his hands go numb. Not even in an Amegakure winter had he ever felt this cold. Gaara, having very little body fat as insulation, bore the brunt of the chilly assault and Naruto could tell the fire that fueled his words wasn't keeping him warm.

'**Damn, it's cold. Those two bastards must've cast spells on the box before we got in here.'**

"You alright, Gaara?"

"Just peachy." He growled as he tried to conserve body heat, breath gusting out white.

"Your lips are turning blue. I don't think you're 'peachy'. That dress can't be very warm." His eyes trailed up Gaara's creamy legs, which were covered by small goosebumps. He wouldn't mind warming them up his own way.

"Don't fall for this bullshit. Haven't you ever read a comic book? They're trying to get us to bond by putting us through difficult situations."

The temperature instantly went down another ten degrees.

"Fuck, fine!"

Naruto went to the other side and huddled next to Gaara. The redhead's body racked itself with shivers and he seemed to be in pain. Naruto unbuttoned his shirt, pulled his fellow apprentice onto his lap and wrapped the fabric of his shirt around the both of them. Gaara could feel his powerful heart beating at his back.

"Your legs are as cold as ice." Naruto muttered, feeling the frigid pieces of flesh against his. "Do you have any feeling left in them?"

"A little, though managing my extremities is none of your business."

Naruto began massaging the other boy's thighs, the friction creating a heat that had disappeared. Gaara glanced at the wall and nearly strangled the blonde then and there.

'_Mmn, I get to touch his smexy legs… Oh shit, that went on the wall… Heh heh, um… This is certainly awkward.'_

'**While you are a pervert, I suggest for the sake of your own health you don't stop rubbing. It's too cold to argue about this shit.'**

"What's this? Could you be enjoying my treatment? I can make it even better for you…" Naruto remarked lasciviously, moving his hands slightly higher up, pushing the limits of what he could do before the redhead plucked his eyes out.

'_I want to see what's under your dress, Gaara…'_

"Get your filthy paws off of me!" Gaara struggled against the hold Naruto had him in, but the blonde merely respected Gaara's boundaries and sent his hands back to their original position.

"I won't do anything to you that you don't want me to. I promise." Naruto said sincerely, kissing Gaara's earlobe.

"Put your lips on me one more time and you won't have them."

'**Fucking pervert… You can't get away with shit just because you think you're cute.'**

'_Talking dirty, are we?' _

'**You only wish.'**

There was a pause, then, _'Fuck. I've got a hard-on.'_

"Let go of me, you disgusting waste of oxygen!" Gaara roared, trying to elbow the blonde in the stomach.

"It's from you squirming around on my lap so much! If you would stop moving, then this wouldn't be a problem!"

'_Someone as sexy as you rubbing your tight ass against my crotch? I'm surprised I haven't shot a load yet.'_

"From squirming around? Are you sure it's not my tight ass?" Naruto blushed in shame as Gaara confronted him. "I am not an object for you to project your perversions onto."

"I can't help it! You know what they say about teenage guys… We all think with our penis."

"I certainly don't." Gaara was still upset that he was sitting on the aroused blonde.

"I'm not even sure you have one. You're really pissed all the time. If you're a eunuch, I understand your pain. It must suck not to have a—"

"I'm not a eunuch!" Gaara defended his only right to manhood the best he could. Being forced to wear dresses wore a guy down. "I'm just not turned on by idiots…"

"Then what turns you on?"

'_Something kinky, perhaps? Sadism and masochism, though there's a chance it's blood, what you liking killing and all, or maybe—'_

"I don't know. I've never had sex."

"Well, neither have I, but I know what I like to think of when I masturbate."

'_Right now, it's a certain sexy redhead who stops trying to kill me and puts his hate aside for a moment to tell me what he wants sexually. I'd give it to him—Goddamn wall!'_

"I've never masturbated. It's a waste of time."

Naruto knew there had to be a story behind this. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"You're seventeen and you've never masturbated." Naruto stated this curious fact.

"That's right."

"You gotta be lying. I started when I was eleven. I thought it was the greatest thing in the world."

"I'm sorry for not having such a rich masturbatory life as you do, but I'm really not interested in sex at all."

"You've never gotten a spontaneous erection?" Naruto asked in amazement. "Those are the most annoying things on the planet, especially since I live with the Magus. When it happens, he grabs my dick and asks me if I want a blowjob."

A full color, extremely graphic picture of the Magus giving a younger Naruto head was drawn on the wall.

"What the—Why's it doing memo—I mean, pictures too?"

"You were about to say memories." The redhead gave a small smirk. He had something on the blonde.

"It was that stupid bastard's fault! The first time I got one was in the middle of a lesson and he noticed and he asked that and I didn't know anything at the time, so I said yes because I thought he was so smart and cool! He became a Magus at thirteen, was I supposed to argue with his intelligence? I was about to turn eleven and here stupid sixteen-year old Sasuke told me that I would explode if he didn't do it and since I didn't know anything about sex at the time, I let him!"

"So the Magus is a child molester?"

"No, he's a Naruto molester." Naruto pouted childishly, forgetting temporarily about the cold. "He did that until another guy who was teaching me told me why I was getting them and that I wouldn't explode if the Magus didn't suck me. Sasuke's twenty two now and he still tries to pull that shit on me."

"I'm surprised you can even think of sex if you got molested as much as you say you did." Gaara grunted, not thinking that what had happened to the blonde was remotely at all pleasant.

"Well, it feels good. And it can bring you closer to the person you're doing it with."

"So if sex is so great, why haven't you done it?"

"You notice how we're out in the middle of nowhere? The Magus didn't use to live in the middle of nowhere. He used to live in the city, but he got me as an apprentice and moved out to the middle of nowhere so I wouldn't have contact with anyone but him and the servants. He is the only person I could have sex with out here. I stupidly made a bet with him a few years ago that I could lose my virginity to someone besides him by the time I turn eighteen. The conditions were that I had to be on top, I had to be able to present my partner when we had sex so he could see if I really did it, and they had to be someone that I actually liked and would consider being in a relationship with. If I didn't, then he'd take my virginity whether I wanted him to or not and he says I'll have to be his uke for eternity. Problem is, there's no one else around for miles and he never lets me go into town. He set me up to lose and I'm running out of time."

"When's your eighteenth birthday?"

Naruto paused, wondering if he should answer. "…Kinda tomorrow."

"Too bad."

"Gaara, I was wondering…"

"No." Gaara said bluntly, cutting off that small beam of optimism that Naruto had felt.

"Please, you're my only hope! I don't want to spend eternity being fucked by Sasuke! That horny bastard will be at it every night!"

"Then you should get used to walking with a limp." Surely that dragon boy hadn't just made a joke.

"I can't believe that asshole invited you and the Devout over to tease me like this! It's not fair, 'ttebayo!" Naruto sobbed, tears turning into ice on his cheeks.

"Stop crying, you baby."

"Gaara, pleeease!" Burying his face in the back of Gaara's dress, Naruto continued to blubber his woes. "I don't want Sasuke shoving his dick up my ass!"

"I don't want you shoving yours up mine."

"But Gaara, you're smart and you have a twisted sense of humor and you're sexy and I really like that in a guy and we're both jinchuurki!"

The room slowly started to heat up.

"So what? Why should I care if you're a jinchuurki or not, which you probably aren't?" He'd never heard of any other jinchuurki. Most of them got killed early on in life.

The cube's heat exploded into a hot July day. Naruto let Gaara go and paced around the box, sweating until he couldn't bear it any longer. Gaara watched his temper match the temperature.

"Fuck you, Sasuke!" He screamed as he ripped off his shirt, revealing a complicated pattern surrounding a spiral on his stomach as the temperature increased, then went down a bit into only mildly uncomfortable (having been 'oh my god, I'm going to destroy all sources of heat with a sledgehammer because I am going to boil alive' uncomfortable) before going into stasis.

Gaara stared. That was certainly a jinchuurki mark. "So you are one after all."

"Why the hell would I lie about something like that? You know people hate us. No one up and decided 'hey, I feel like stuffing a demon inside my body because I'm an infant and I need every reason to not be loved by anyone'. I certainly didn't. Do you know how many bones I've broken because I'm jinchuurki and people feel the need to regularly kick my ass?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Forty. That's a fifth of all the bones in my body."

Gaara had thought the blonde's nose looked a bit crooked, but it suited him. "Why didn't you just run away?"

"It's kind of hard to run when you're strapped to a table and having your fingers smashed with a hammer." Naruto said coolly, sweating bullets.

"…True." Gaara conceded, fanning himself as his sweat made his dress cling to his pale skin.

"I just tried to survive how I could. Made some friends, but they've all gone off to different parts of the world to follow their dreams and I get the short stick by getting picked up by some cocky fourteen year old Magus and dragged out here to become a black mage. I only said yes to becoming a Magus because it meant I wouldn't have to stay on the streets any longer than I needed to. I hate reading and learning and reciting the same spells over and over again! It's boring as hell and I want to get another profession because I can't do Thundara again without losing my mind!" He wanted to rip his hair out in handfuls. Kiba, Lee, Sakura, Ino, they were all having a better time than he was. They were doing things they actually _wanted_ to do.

"I'm not a mage because I want to be. You know the circumstances around that. We just have to take what life gives to us and deal with it." Gaara wished the boy wouldn't complain about such things.

"Yeah, you ran around chopping off people's heads. But what do you _really_ want to do in life?"

"I haven't thought about it." Gaara shrugged, wiping sweat from his brow.

"I want to be a pastry chef! Those cookies that the Devout is enjoying so much right now, I made them! I refuse to idly lay down and let life run me over!" Naruto barked, mana swirling around him in a purple storm.

Gaara mused over his words. What did he want to be? He'd forgotten and it hurt to try and remember. A long time ago, he did have a dream. But that was before he was betrayed. Yashamaru, the person who'd taken him in when no one else would, had tried to murder him. Gaara looked up to Yashamaru as a father figure who taught him about the world and ensured he was versed in all the styles of weapons that he'd collected in his travels. Because of him, Gaara was skilled in using tonfa, halberds, daggers, and many more, not just swords. (The redhead merely preferred using a sword because it kept him a fair distance from his enemy without putting him at a major disadvantage.) Yashamaru taught Gaara how to read and write and play music (though it wasn't something he enjoyed terribly much). He protected Gaara and made him smile. Yet after all the times they'd been through, after the opportunities he had created for Gaara, it simply led up to his plot to rid himself of the jinchuurki once and for all.

He'd had a crazed look that evening of his treachery, drawing the sword that was the crown of his weapons collection, the mighty Godslayer. Though Gaara pleaded and begged, the man was too far lost to the memory of the sister that had died giving birth to the jinchuurki he'd taken in. Though Gaara scurried and hid, trying to escape without a single bit of his training in mind, Yashamaru cornered him and prepared the finishing blow. The demon within Gaara awoke and killed Yashamaru with ease. Blood on his hands, Gaara stole Godslayer from his uncle's lifeless body so no one else could wield it. His dream died the moment Yashamaru did. His rampage had started then, but _what_, he wondered, did he dream of before that? He wasn't sure. And right now, his head felt so fuzzy and light…

When the redhead slumped over, Naruto had a fair idea of what was going on. "Damn you Sasuke, stop fucking with us! Gaara just had a heat stroke and he's going to die if you don't do something!"

Naruto flapped his shirt at the white mage, trying to get a cooler breeze circulating through the cube. It served only to stir the dry heat around. Why did Gaara have to be so temperature sensitive? Naruto kicked the walls, golden obscenities zooming around and around as he waited for some sort of response. A clatter resounded behind him. There was a canteen lying on the floor. The water was pleasantly cool and Naruto picked it up, running to Gaara's side to attend to him. Lifting him half-way off the ground, Naruto tilted Gaara's head so that he could drink from it. The redhead didn't respond. He poured some on his shirt, folding it up and placing it on Gaara's brow so that his body could return to normal. Resting the well-shaped head on his lap, Naruto held Gaara's hand as he waited, giving him a sip of water every now and again.

"Don't die without telling me what your dream is…" Naruto knew that Gaara could be resurrected, but every time you came back from the dead, you lost a little more of yourself and he liked Gaara the way he was.

Though his desire to pull up the dress and see what Gaara was wearing underneath it was great, the desire to make sure the redhead was safe was greater. The Magus and the Devout watched in interest, but didn't want to interfere. Naruto waited, sweating off at least five pounds, continuing to make sure Gaara was hydrated. After an hour of patience, he was rewarded with the answer to his question.

"I wanted to be a novelist…" Gaara murmured without opening his eyes.

Naruto smiled and ran his hand through Gaara's hair. The tanuki jinchuurki didn't seem to mind. "I'm sure you'd be great."

"I'm hungry…"

"Yeah, I am too. Nothing's really happened since you passed out."

"Why did you help me? What do you want?"

"I like you, stupid. What I want is for you to be alive." Naruto rested two fingers under Gaara's neck, taking his pulse and ensuring that he knew he was living. "Sure, we got off to a rough start—"

"Because you're a pervert."

Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You're lucky you're cute."

"I am _not_ cute."

"We can debate adjectives later. Like I was saying, we got off to a rough start, but I want to learn more about you and the worlds you can create with your hands…" The black mage rubbed his thumb in circles on Gaara's palm. "Tell me your stories. The wall told me what you were dreaming of. I won't be like that guy."

Gaara flinched. The blonde had seen his memories of Yashamaru. But he was sincere and the white mage thought that was surprising. "I'll do it."

"What?"

"I'll have sex with you this one time. You saved my life and I hate owing debts."

'**And it's an added bonus for me because you're hot.'**

Naruto chuckled, not letting Gaara know that the wall was still working as magnificently as ever. To be gentlemanly (and to avoid being like the Magus) he asked,"Are you sure you're up to that? You're really tired."

"I'll heal myself when we get out. Just try to not be too rough. I don't want to make Neji carry me out of here." He'd have to judge for himself whether or not this act was as good as everyone seemed to think it was.

"I wish I could've wooed you instead of having this gratitude sex."

"You can do that after this is all said and done with." Gaara sighed, wondering if that was something he should look forward too. It'd mean he'd have to see the other mage a lot more.

"I promise I'll make you the most amazing cake in the world and when you take a bite of it, you'll fall in love with me instantly."

Such dirty tricks the black mage had in mind for him. He wouldn't accept that. "So you're not above love potions…"

"No, you'll fall in love because I'll put every ounce of my heart into it. I don't need magic to do wonderful things."

"When are those assholes going to let us out?" Gaara grumbled, getting tired of waiting aimlessly.

"Who knows?" Naruto shrugged. He'd at least like to have sex in his own bed. "Knowing the Magus, I'm sure it'll be as soon as we do something embarrassing or incriminating."

"Hurry up then, I'm hungry." His stomach growled to affirm the statement.

Naruto rested his hand on Gaara's leg. "There's been something that's been irritating the hell out of me all day. I want to know _what_ you are wearing under that dress."

"Go ahead. Make their day."

Naruto removed the white mage from his lap and inched the dress up slowly, kissing a trail up Gaara's leg until the fabric was above his hips to reveal…

"Oh. So that's what it was."

Naruto had been expecting some bike shorts or granny panties, maybe even something a little exotic like lingerie (considering Neji had a subscription to a lingerie catalogue he never failed to order from every month) or daring like a thong. Briefs had crossed his mind and so had very short boxers, but Gaara had chose none of those. He wore nothing.

"Neji says I have to earn underwear, just like my sword." Gaara said sourly, hating the constant wafting breeze he got every time he went on a walk.

"It's good to see you're not a eunuch. You'll be needing these tonight."

"Tonight? I thought you'd want to hurry up and get it over with so you don't have to sleep with Sasuke." Gaara opened one eye.

"By decree of Naruto the pastry chef, I insist that you stay the night. This is a momentous occasion, not some brothel encounter." The words painted themselves on the wall like an official document in sunshine yellow. He leaned down and said, "I want to do you right, Gaara."

"What about the Devout?" He didn't exactly feel safe now that he knew that the older man had a fetish for making people go 'splodey'.

"He and the Magus have a weird friendship. I guess you bond with someone once they blow you up. And besides, the Devout has stayed over before." Naruto guessed it was before Gaara had been assigned to the Devout.

"Were they…?" Gaara tapped his two index fingers together.

"No. Sasuke decided to be extra creepy and sleep in my bed those nights." Naruto shivered when he recalled having the man slip under his sheets and curl up to him.

"Will he complain about the noise?"

"My, my, Gaara… Are subtly suggesting that you're a screamer?" Naruto gave a foxy smile of delight.

"I don't know… I just heard that sex can be really loud."

Naruto kissed the tip of his soon to be lover's penis. "If I suck in bed, I'm sorry. I'll do my best to make it up to you if you're unsatisfied."

"Somehow, I think you'll be better than you give yourself credit. And if you do perform terribly, then I would like five dozen chocolate chip cookies as payment." It'd been a long time since he'd had a good cookie. The Devout didn't allow sweets in the house because he said that sweets were to be taken in moderation and he was really, really cheap when it came to food.

"If I do good, can I give you the cookies just because I like you?" He was already conjuring up a special recipe for Gaara in his mind. He'd add a little cinnamon and some sugar from the snowy mountains of the north to make them perfect.

The box abruptly fell apart and they found themselves being stared at by Sasuke and Neji in the great hall. Gaara tugged down his skirt, not wanting their superiors to see his nudity.

The Magus paused, waiting for when he would go off. "Why did you tell him that I molested you?"

"'Cause you do, you stupid pervert!" Naruto shouted, lifting Gaara to his feet. "Wait a minute… You heard that?"

Sasuke raised a single ebony eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well… Then you know why I don't want to be a Magus."

"Yep."

"…This is Gaara, but you already know that. He's going to eat because he's hungry and he'll stay the night because we're going to have sex. I do have interest to be in a relationship with him and I plan on pursuing that like my dream of becoming a pastry chef." Naruto declared triumphantly. "Therefore, I win the bet."

"What do you win, Naruto?" Neji asked, fiddling with a pink ribbon woven in his hair.

"I get—Hold on a second…" Naruto furrowed his brows in attempted remembrance until they were almost touching. Gears clicked in his mind until he came to a realization he should have several years ago. "You asshole, you never negotiated what _I'd_ get if I won!"

"That's because I didn't think you would!" Sasuke said, readying a fire spell if the blonde was looking for a fight.

"How about this? First off, you'll do everything I order you to for the next week and you'll cut your strings from me after that. I won't be your apprentice anymore."

"Where will you go?"

"I could probably get into a good school with your recommendation. You were a prodigy, after all."

"Living in a dorm would be expensive." Sasuke said, looking Gaara up and down. The white mage glared at him.

"I'd still be living here. I'd miss your stupid perverted comments after a while. Maybe if I manage to woo Gaara properly, he can come live with us too. And the Devout, while we're at it." He looked at Neji questioningly, awaiting approval for the idea.

"I'd hate to go AWOL, especially since Gaara is under my care. If I turn him loose, there's no telling what he'll do." Neji frowned slightly, tugging the ribbon he'd been toying with out of his brown hair completely.

"He'll sit down and write amazing books and when he gets tired, I'll perk him up with whatever sort of treat he wants. But you should hold off on giving him his sword back. Wait until he's really ready. Sound like a good deal for everyone?" Naruto surveyed the three other people.

"…Even if we say no, you're going to beg us until we give, aren't you?" Sasuke noted.

"Or offer you the chance to give me oral." Naruto said, fluttering his eyelashes at the Magus.

"I wish you would've told me that before because I was already going to say yes."

"Well, too bad." Naruto knew he shouldn't tease the man, but he couldn't help himself. He'd deal with the repercussions later. "The opportunity has passed. Now what would you like for dinner?"

_**~Cura!~**_ Gaara said, pointing at himself. His stance improved and his coloration turned a bit more healthy. "Something that won't settle heavily in my stomach. I don't want to get sick in bed."

"As you wish, aibou…" Naruto whispered in the redhead's ear, breath tickling the small hairs inside it.

"Going on in that old language again, I see." Apparently, the whisper had been louder than he intended for the Magus to comment.

"What'd he say?" Gaara queried.

"I called you my partner… Unless you would prefer to be referred to as my koibito…"

"Lover." Sasuke bluntly translated.

"I'll show you things that you've never felt before, aibou…" Naruto rested his hand on Gaara's chest. "Maybe you could show me whatever other tricks you have under that dress of yours…"

Gaara turned a faint red at the brashness of the advance. "Have you no shame? Your instructor is right there."

"He's done worse to me in public."

"You better not disappoint us, Naruto." The Magus said with the seriousness of a man debriefing his warriors.

"What do you mean us? This is not pay-per-view and even if it was, you're not paying, so you're not getting a view!"

"I still need to get him rated on the 'how thoroughly fucked' scale. One being it lasted five minutes, ten being he can't walk right for two weeks." Sasuke figured that the blonde could give a seven the first time.

"You're such a pervert."

"And yet you take after me so much."

Naruto knew his evening was completely booked. He'd cook dinner and feed the three hungry magic men and after that, he'd take a bath to get ready for the main event of the evening, making love with Gaara. His mind plotted out exact details, such as how long to bake the quiche for and whether he should add the rose or lavender scent to his bath. How should he enter the room when it was time for him to prove himself? Should he draw out the foreplay or cut straight to the meat of the matter? And for a moment he wondered what they'd be. If a writer and a musician had sex, they'd be making a song. A wonderful, lovely song of two bodies moving against each other in rhapsody. So if a song was what occurred when that happened, he supposed that a pastry chef and novelist would make a cookbook full of different orgasm inducing sweets that he couldn't wait to get his hands on.

Somehow, he thought it'd be a hell of a lot better than a song.

0o0

_**EPIC FAIL!**_ I'm sorry for having you suffer through this. I will burn myself for my incompetence and because I am a failure in life. Hopefully you'll have enough false kindness to leave a comment, though I know one-shots aren't exactly renowned for being the big comment drawers. Unless your name is Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare. But you don't count.

I had seriously considered putting in that lemon, but I decided, 'nah' at the last minute and didn't do it. Please don't hurt me for that. I have to write a bunch of sex stuff for Ruger and NAK, so a lemony one-shot will be unlikely for a while.

But I do have a limey one under progress…

And I did draw Sasuke in his Magus uniform. (Neji in the Devout uniform too) Maybe I'll post them on my DA.


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